College, Modern Social Torture

Due to my serious procrastination, the last week and a half before classes started was spent in an aggravating frenzy of trying to get into classes. It seemed every time I found something to do it was full. Eventually I settled on three classes and only six credits. Yesterday I went to my first class, English 111, Methods of Written Communication. That doesn't sound so bad, right? I'm a writer, right? It should be easy enough, even if I hate essays.

As the class approached my brain took over and my dread and loathing lessened. When I drove in to the college I thought there might even be an off chance it could be fun. I found my room and looked in. It was packed full of people and class was clearly going. Oh no. I was certain that I was not late so I went in search of a clock, because I realized that I was not at all sure of the time. You would think that there would be more clocks in a college but I suppose they expect people to know that kind of thing themselves.

I entered the bookstore and finally found the time. I was forty five minutes early. I felt a great relief and I began to browse. Nothing I had seen before said if there was a textbook, but I assumed there was. I found my instructor's name, but it was a different class number. Then I found the right class number, but a different name. I began to worry. But there was nothing I could do (aside from ask, but I didn't think of that) so I talked to a few people I knew and waited for the class to start.

When the other class ended I went in and saw it was a writing lab, and so everyone has there own computer. And there is a big sign that says "No food or drink in here on pain of crucifixion and disembowelment."

I chose a seat far in the back and hoped I was in the right place. Soon after, a guy walked in with a tray of fried fish and a pile of fries and chose the seat next to mine and began to eat. He did offer me some, but I declined. The class started soon, with all the usual formalities. We went through the syllabus and then the teacher began to describe the class. My stomach sank into my bowels as she described how it was very important that everyone be very outspoken and not be shy. We were going to be one big kindly criticizing and nicely arguing group of buddies.

Then she pulled out the big guns. As an "Ice Breaker" she gave us all cards with parts of words on them. Then we milled around until we found someone whose card, combined with our own, made a word. My word said "Genic" on it, and I found a girl whose card said "Tele" on it. We didn't know if that was a word but the instructor told us it was. But the girl disappeared before we looked it up so I sat down beside a guy who had "Bio" on it. So we looked that up and defined it and defined the different parts of it. Then the teacher helped the stragglers find someone. The girl from earlier was sitting in front of me and as the instructor walked by, she hesitated and said to us, "So, did you two hook up?"

There was a moment of silence and the girl said no. So she was found someone else, and the introductions began.

We had to talk for awhile and then introduce the person with the other part of our word to everyone else. After we defined our word.

"Biogenic," said the other guy, who actually turned out to go to my old church. "Being made from, or caused by the biological process."

The guy with the food raised his hand and the teacher let him talk.

"So, like, would poo be a biogenic substance?"

A long moment of silence. Everyone looked around with half smiles, not at the joke but that he had actually put the class on pause to say that.

"Um...yes. I suppose it is," said the instructor, and moved on.

I suppose this class could turn out bearable, but I doubt it. So much emphasis on "Peer Review" is just flat out annoying. The only person whose opinion I respect is that of the teacher's, and that is only because she sold cows to pay her way through college so she can't be all bad. Oh well, tomorrow I do it again and get the real homework. I shudder. An introduction of ourselves to be read next class. At the end of the semester I am hopefully never going to see any of them again. So we don't to get all buddy buddy.

One of the other group's word was sociopath. Hmm.