Things I Don't Understand

Here's a list of things I've never understood.

Confronting one's past-I've seen this on countless book teasers and other such things, and I still haven't a clue what it means.

"I'd just as soon you didn't do that"-What? Was that English?

Putting onions in the guacamole-Seriously, people used to get drawn and quartered for less than that.

College-Okay, that isn't entirely true. Since I've been going for a few months I'm starting to understand. It's because no one has anything else to do.

Why Christian music sucks-Every now and then I hear a good Christian song and it's a shock to the system. There has to be Christians with taste somewhere, Right?

"Pull yourself up by your bootstraps"-I recently tried this and I've come to the conclusion that when someone says this, they really mean rolling around on the floor like an idiot. Metaphorically of course.

Chick-lit-I'm going to gauge out my eyes and smash every glass in the house over my own head, if I don't pass out from over exposure to adverbs first.

Why people bother writing in a scale if 7/8 of the notes are accidentals anyway-I think music shouldn't be written in scales. Why not just do half steps and whole steps on the lines and spaces?

Why no one cares about the gas prices anymore-Just because they stopped going up doesn't mean they're not horrendous.

Why anyone would take the trouble to acquire a taste for live octopus-Don't tell me I need to expound.

Twitter

Why no one comes to my blog except through Crystal's-Except you, Matt. You win the "best blog reader" award.

And I'm done. I'm sure tons more will come to me in the middle of the night. Hey, that's another one. Why these things always come to me in the middle of the night-Because if they didn't, this post would be three miles long.