Coiler Reunion

Well, I was strolling along through the morgue one day and I overheard one of the men working there telling another about a class reunion he had just gone to. Quite suddenly and without my bidding I had a fabulous idea. I made all the arrangements, bought the food and drink, readied a large room in my cabin that I rent, and wrote down a reminder to come back every New Year’s day.
When the day finally came, the first day of the year, I had my doubts that it was going to work. I was sitting nervously in the large room, surrounded by the tables of food that would be wasted, when suddenly the first one arrived.
"Hello," he said. "Am I the first one here?"
"Um, yes," I said, it still gave me wibbles when I first saw another me.
"Last year I was the last," he said.
"Last year?" I asked. "This is the first time we've had this reunion."
"Oh yes, and actually the only time. But we come back every year."
Just then four more showed up. They were of random ages and began talking loudly to each other and to me. One started stuffing sandwiches in his face and complimenting me for my choice around his mouthfuls. Three more arrived and the reunion was really going. They kept coming in a steady stream and soon it was clear no more were coming. I asked one of them why there was nobody older than fifty.
"No one knows," he answered. "Except him," he pointed to an old man sitting to the side. He was much older than anyone else there. "The problem is every time we ask him why we will stop coming he just laughs and says nothing. In fact, we don't even know why he came at all."
"I'll talk to him," I said. "Just to see."
Sure enough the old codger did nothing but chuckle. Even when I said he looked like an embalmed Orangutan all he did was show his gilded teeth. I gave up and went for a plate of coconut shrimp in plum sauce.
"Alright, everyone grab a sandwich," someone yelled. "We are going to have a toast for the fifty two year old. Its his last year here. Next year he won't be coming and he will figure out why, lucky dog. Any way, we bid you goodbye."
"Goodbye," cried everyone and they jammed their whole sandwich in their mouths.
After we had got our sandwiches swallowed a me about five years older than myself leaned over to me, "This was great idea of ours, I still remember when I had it. I thought I was a genius and so I was and so are you. The best part is every new year we get to come back and eat free food." I hadn't thought of that.
After that I settled down to just listening and it was quiet interesting.
"Oh yes, two years ago," said one to another. "That was when I was addicted to mountain dew."
"You mean in seven years I'll have a dog? I hate dogs."
"I'm not supposed to tell you how you'll break your leg."
It went on like this, the elder in a conversation always rubbing in how much they could tell if they wished and the younger always rubbing in how many more experiencing they were going to have. Suddenly I heard footsteps outside and my door opening. I froze, unable to move in my fear. Round the corner and into the room stepped my landlady. Her jaw dropped and I think her heart stopped as well.
"Well, looks like the party is over," said someone, and they started disappearing like a hundred light bulbs with individual switches and you are flipping them one at a time as fast as you can. Soon me and my landlady were alone.
"What's the matter?" I asked, and my voice cracked.
Her mouth moved but nothing came out.
"You look as though you have seen a ghost."
She pointed behind me and I turned and saw that old Orangutan still sitting in his spot and grinning.
"What, there isn't anything there," I managed to force out.
The old mutt chuckled in a breathy voice and vanished. My landlady squeaked and raced out into the hall. I stuck my head out and yelled after her retreated figure, "Careful what you drink on new year's eve."